What is this worth???

So...

I'm fresh off my fail onto a great day. I did gain one pound, but hopefully (fingers crossed) it will be gone tomorrow plus some.

Breakfast:
Slim-Fast
Lunch:
Slim-Fast
Dinner:
Slim-Fast
Snack:
Lite Yogurt

So pretty good like 700 calories (yay!)

I have some things going on in my personal life, that I'm not going to expunge here, but my mother is having more medical issues and I'm just having a hard time handling it.

I haven't told anyone about it because I just don't know how to say it, and making it verbal seems to real at the moment.

I am just finding myself valuing this surgery even more at this time in my life.

Anyway, enough of that.

Be back tomorrow with another food journal update!

WTHeck is going on with me?

Ok...

So I've been trucking along on my liquid diet, I was doing so well I was surprising myself.

Tonight I brought that to a screeching halt, my mom made chuck roast in the crock pot for my nieces and noodles with it. I knew she was making it and decided that I wouldn't have my shakes today so I could cheat and have it.

Ahhhhh... why am I thinking this way it's a week before surgery?

Ok, so I had a piece of meat and about half cup of noodles. I felt horrible for cheating and I'm just so frustrated.

Why am I doing this to myself?

I don't plan on eating anything else tonight, and I plan on fasting tomorrow so I can recover from this.

Anyway today was a fail day, and I fell horrible about it. I'm going to pick myself up, wipe myself off and move on.

Ok enough of me moaning...

Arrrrrrrrg...

Liquid Diet... Another Day Done

Day Six:

Breakfast:
Slim-Fast
Lunch:
Slim-Fast
Dinner:
Yogurt - Pudding - Applesauce (I shouldn't have had the applesauce)

Today Day Seven:

Breakfast:
Slim-Fast
Lunch:
Slim-Fast
Snack:
SF Pudding
Dinner:
Slim-Fast
Snack:
Yogurt

One more week till surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going Blog Crazy!

I have this all or nothing attitude as of late, either I don't do something or I over do it. I guess it's time to overdo the blogs, lol.

I just made a response to www.youtube.com/mamatika9 she is having a music contest and she's going to compile songs to a compilation CD to give out at the meet and greet. I wish I were going to the meet and greet it sounds like it will be so much fun!

Maybe I'll make it to the SC one, who knows really. It seems that as of late things are on a need to know basis and I don't need to know anything, hehe.

I don't know how people make their blogs look all fancy, maybe I'll google it later and see if I can find some directions.

Anyway, I'm signing out... stay tuned for more random blogs if your watching!

Weight Loss... Ups and Down

I hope everyone is doing well, I'm still doing my liquid diet and am on the losing end as of right now... I am doing my best not to cheat, I ate one slice of cheese which I shouldn't have had, but just craved something with flavor.

I have been watching lots of vids lately, and it seems everyone is doing great, I just finished watching a cotysmom vid on youtube and she's going to have to have surgery to fix her port... frankly this scares the crap out of me, it's not easy for someone who is obese to go under the knife over and over again, I know she will do fine but I'm scared that I will have to have the same kind of thing done. I can't have the gastric bypass because I have Crohn's Disease, but I really wish I were having it done, there seems to be very little need for follow up surgery aside from plastics. I guess I'm just getting a little nervous, my surgery date is quickly approaching, and I know it's going to be awesome, but it's also a little scary. Very few people die from this surgery about 0.2 percent, but what if I fall into that percent.

I haven't been doing vlogs lately just picture, text and audio vids. I think I'll try to do a vid the night before surgery.

I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am, my surgery is at 7:30 am... that is so early, I'm sure I won't get much sleep the night before. I hope that everything goes as planned and I start to lose weight right after surgery, the few people who know about the surgery are mostly supportive... I do have people who think I shouldn't have the surgery and yet others who don't even know I'm having it done. I guess I shouldn't be bashful about it, I just frankly don't care what their opinions are, this is my body and my life to do with what I see fit.

I was browsing through some catalogs today and looking at exercise equipment, everything is weight limited at 250-350 lbs. Does this make sense to anyone else, the people who need this equipment most desperately weigh to much to use it. I also looked into the wii fit because I really want one, and it too has a 250 lbs weight limit, so chunky kids, or obese teenagers couldn't really use that.

I think that manufacturers forget that fat people have disposable income, it's like when looking for clothes, I see so many of these shirts for fat people with the band at the bottom. I would never wear that, is it designed to hold your belly in? Or just grip your belly so you look as fat as possible?

Well I think that's it, I'm done going on and on about nothing.

Another post tommorrow!

Liquid Diet... keep on trucking!

Day Four:
Breakfast: Slim-Fast
Lunch: Slim-Fast
Dinner: Slim-Fast - Lite Yogurt- Sugar Free Pudding

Day Five:
Breakfast: Slim-Fast
Lunch: Slim - Fast
Later Today:
Dinner: Slim-Fast - Lite Yogurt

Day Three Liquid Diet...

Day three is over:

Breakfast:
Slimfast 180
Lunch
Slimfast 180
Dinner
Slimfast 180
Yogurt 110
Yogurt 110
Pudding 60

Yay... 11 more days!

2 Week Liquid Diet...

Day 1:
Slim-Fast 180
Yogurt 100
Slim-Fast 180
Slim-Fast 180
Pudding 60
Total: 700 calories

Day 2:
Slim-Fast 180
Yogurt 240
Juice 280
Slim-Fast180
Yogurt 110
Pudding 60
Total: 1050

So far so good.

Ok... I can't figure this out! But it's good.

Ok... so I had my "last meal" yesterday at Cracker Barrel and it was delicious. What I don't understand is I lost five pounds. I got on this morning bracing for the worst and I had a loss. I was shocked! But good shocked!

I am getting things ready for my liquid diet starting on the 19th, I go for pre-op on Friday and a final consultation with my surgeon. Yay!

Shannon my friend here had her surgery on the 10th... and has been in severe pain but has lost 14 pounds thus far. I hope that she continues doing well!

Ok, that's all for today I'm back on my diet, going to start posting my losses here soon.

WLS Debachle...

So... I made a vid about this but seven minutes just wasn't long enough for me to ramble.

Anyone who is reading this is probably watching the drama going on over on weightlosslosers... they are doing a week about weight loss surgery. I very much liked the way that Alejandro did his vid yesterday... I thought it was well done and very considerate.

Then today I tuned in again, as I usually do to watch Shanti's vid... omg I could have screamed at the computer. I really never had any issues with Shanti other then she's a little condescending... but what West Coasters aren't (hehe, just kidding) anyway she made a vid about WLS that was FULL of here "opinion" that just happened to be complete stereotypes of WLS.

Anyway, that's all I'm not gonna dwell on this anymore.

Talk to you all soon!

This is the last fail post I'm going to allow...

So it's Wednesday morning, I didn't have a good Tuesday :(

Tuesday's Food:

Breakfast: Meal Replacement Bar - This Was Good
Snack: None - Good Still
Lunch: None (not hungry) - This is good, going good so far....
Snack: None
Dinner: 2 Sloppy Joes and a Cup of Mini Roasted Potatoes - This is so not good.
Kind of felt like crap after dinner... I fell asleep for SIX hours.

Work up at 10 pm --- Missed The Biggest Loser --- Had To Watch When I woke up.
-Can't believe Blaine is gone... that made me sad-

Midnight Snack: 2 oz. Cheese - That's not so bad
--------------- : Pringles - What? Why are you still eating?
--------------- : Ham and Turkey Sandwich - Wait is this a three course meal?

Ok... so that's it, I totally screwed up Tuesday and since I ate after midnight I totally screwed Wednesday.

Today Wednesday February 11th, 2009
----Fasting Day----Water Only------

Failure Again...

Failure yet again...

I'm posting about Monday February 9, 2009.

I fell off the wagon yet again... so I can actually put into vision the amount of crap I ate today with the justification that I won't be able to have it again (stinkin thinkin).

My horrible meals today:

Breakfast:
Meal Replacement Bar - This was ok.

Lunch:
2 pieces of texas toast
4 slices of lean ham and cheese
1 slice of cheese
1 ice cream bar

Snack:
3 oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1 cup juice

Dinner:
2 cups of vegetables
6 oz of chicken
2 slices of processed cheese
2 liter of cherry 7 up - First soda in almost two years - yes it was delicious

Snack:
Pringles Bacon Ranch chips
1 chocolate ice cream bar
2 glasses of juice

6 bottles of 16 oz water - only positive thing about today.

I would assume my calories totalled up to around 10,000 calories... that is just a rough estimate.

I am thoroughly unhappy with my behavior.

As of tonite I stepped on the scale and gained back 8 of the pounds that I have lost thus far.

So tommorrow it's back to basics... five hundred calories a day... no carbs... and upper body exercises.

Thanks for listening to me whine, see you soon.

I'm back...

Hi well it's been a while, and I just can't seem to keep this thing updated. I was doing so well until yesterday, then the weekend went to hell in a hand basket.

I had Burger King (gasp) for the first time in over two years. Then I had a sandwich on texas toast for dinner (so many carbs). Today I've had potato chips, a cake, and candy, arg.

So tommorrow back on the wagon.

Thanks for reading, I'll try to be more consistent.

Take Care!