I've been feeling down... think I found a way to make myself feel better...

Ok,

So as of my last blog post you saw that I was down and really looking for any reason why I haven't lost weight.

I really was angry at myself, so I thought I would compare a pic to see if I could even tell a difference.

Here they are...



January 1st, 2009



March 30th, 2009

I think there's a huge difference, but that's just me.

If you read this and can see a difference please leave me a comment and let me know.

Feeling Down...

I lost forty pounds and was really excited, now my weight loss has stalled out...

I am not happy at all, I've been losing .2 lbs a day for a few days now and am not satisfied at all.

I'm doing a 2 day stall breaker, because I need to be losing more weight then this.

I'm going to start journaling here too because everyone is talking about it, but I'm not good at keeping up with writing anything.

I'm pissed at myself for not losing more weight and not understanding why I'm not.

That's all for today.

Down 40 lbs! Can You Frigging Believe That?!?

March 5th, 2009: 500.4
March 24th, 2009: 460.4
Lost: 40.0

In 19 days I've lost fourty pounds that's unfreakin believable.

I'm really very excited and happy, that's all for today!

Peace out!

Are Parties Really Fun When You Can't Eat Cake?

So...

Today was my mom's fiftieth birthday party, and it's the first time I've been out since I've had surgery.

I want to know if I'm alone... are parties as much fun if you can't eat the cake?

I kept watching people eat tonite, longing to taste potato chips, dip, barbecue, cake, ice cream, soda, and more...

I was sad alot of the time everyone was eating, I sat there eating my slice of cheese and lunch meat wondering if I made the right decision. I keep trying to live by the mantra of nothing tastes as good as thin feels but I wanted a piece of that friggin cake!!!!

I don't know what the alternative for comfort food is, I don't know if I have anything to comfort myself with at the moment, I'm trying to think this is worth it and I know eventually it will be, but will I ever feel normal again?

Can I go to a dinner party? I mean ever again, what about the holidays? Will they be this depressing?

I guess it's more to think about... I'm gonna go listen to people in stickam.

Peace out all... :?(

Weight Today: 466.2 Down: 34 lbs since surgery Down: 56 lbs since Jan 1st.

Feeling so much better today...

My port wound is still infected, but this morning I puked up some frothy water after I drank it and I feel sooooo much better then I had the past couple of days.

I lost another 2 lbs... down to 469.2 hit the thirty pounds loss today and moving on to the next goal.

It's been exactly two weeks today since I've had the surgery and other then the pain and icky feeling from the infection in my wound it has been completely worth it.

I never imagined that feeling full would be so satisfying, I used to feel like I was starving when I was dieting and now I don't have that issue anymore, I get hungry occasionally but literally a few bites chewed thoroughly fill me up, it is so wonderful I can't say enough about it.

I think this was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

Another day to look forward too!

Peace out!

:?(

I only lost .2 lbs today... the least amount I've lost thus far.

I think I may have had something stuck yesterday night, I felt awful all night, was having such severe burping and gas I felt like I was gonna die.

So today isn't so good.

Another day over and a new one coming tomorrow.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Ok,

My wound is officially infected, I feel like CRAP!

New Years Weight: 522
Surgery Day Weight: 500.4
St. Patrick's Day Weight: 471.8

So far so good, I feel icky... I'm going to stop whining now and get my blankie and play on stickam.

Peace Out!

474.2 Today

The doc said to put some steri strips over the wound, the bleeding stopped and now it is just gushing yellow fluid, arrrg.

I'm 474.2 Today... The day After surgery I weighed 500.4. That means Down 26.2 since surgery on March 5th, and down 48.2 since January 1st.

I just keep on keeping on, I'm still in pain... lots of pain. I'm really whiney lately, I need to stop.

That's all for today...

Peace out!

stuff...

I lost another 1.6 lbs today.

I'm still in pain, the port incision keeps bleeding out, like a lot. I feel like crap and am very lightheaded.

I know that this isn't easy but I really didn't think I would feel so crappy a week after.

I know it will be worth it in the end. But God I want this part to be over, if I keep bleeding I guess I will have to go to the ER, I hate that place even more then I hate doctors :(

Anyway I'm just keep on keeping on the best I can.

Peace out.

Just checking in...

I just finished making my week one update for youtube, I only messed up a couple times so I didn't bother editing.

I lost another 3.4 lbs, down a total of 22 lbs! So exciting!

I hope the numbers keep going down.

I am having ALOT of pain in my port wound, but I hear that's normal so it's a wait and see game, I am really tired of it hurting though.

I have been drinking Diet Hawaiin Punch all day I need to get back on the water train, but it get's hot before I have a chance even really get started on it, so annoying.

That's my update for today! I'm out!

Pics...

Down 2.6 More... 18.8 lbs Since Surgery...

Down 2.6 today
Down 18.8 lbs since surgery
Down 40.8 lbs since January 1st

Got down a half a protein shake and a couple bites of yogurt today.

One of my wounds was bleeding and oozing last night and busted open, doc says its normal I'm prone to inflamation so it seems some developed under the incision.

Happy Thursday!

Down Another 1.6

Total down 16.2 lbs!

It's kind of exciting to get on the scale everyday and see the number go down, I hope it keeps going that way.

I finally got a protein shake in today.

All for now.

Standing Up 3-9-09

Still Trucking... I still Hurt :?(

I lost another 1.8 lbs today, total of 14.6 so far.

Still sore, and tired of being sore.

I've eaten three bites of pudding today, that's it.

Ok, enough whining.

Nother post tomorrow.

Another 2.8 Down...

It seems unreal at this point, I have never lost over 12 pounds in four days, this is amazing.

I am full all the time, and the weight is coming off.

I will just keep going until I get to goal.

Yay!

OMG I'm LOSING Already!

I stepped on the scale today first time since Friday and...

I lost 10 lbs!!!!!

Todays Weight: 490.4

So excited!

Today I ate:

1/2 Sugar Free Pudding

1/8 Cup Skim Milk

That's all for today!

Peace Out!

This Gas Is Horrendous

Ok,

So I'm totally whiney today...

My stomach hurts, where they poked with me the blood thinner is swollen and bruised, I have horrendous gas, my throat hurts, and I can't eat anything without getting hiccups.

Ok, enough whining...

Today is another day and I didn't poop yet, :?(

I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow.

Peace Out!

At home... I hurt so much!

I'm at home now, still in pain... but trying to deal with it.

This surgery was much more painful then I expected.

More updates soon... I'm off to lay down.

Sorry I Disappeared For A Couple Days...

I just needed to kind of private everything about myself for a couple days...

Lap Band tomorrow! Yay!

Ok, off to bed.

Blogging... Scary Post...

Okz....

So if you have been reading my blog since it started a few weeks ago you may have noticed that I haven't posted a number as far as my weight goes.

I actually thought my weight had kind of maintained back in January I stepped on the scale and the number popped up:

522 lbs

Frankly, this scared the crap out of me...

This number is scary and big and scary... wait did I mention scary?

I've worked hard since that day to get that number down... I did go through a period of Last Meal syndrome. I didn't gain weight but I didn't lose...

I have now been on this liquid diet and today I stepped on the scale and it popped as...

494.4 lbs

I still have a far way to go, but I was relieved to see that the first number dropped down out of the five's.

Ok well now that I've posted a blog that I've been to ashamed to post I think I'll recess to my bed and take a long winter's nap.

Today's Food:
Breakfast:
Slim-Fast
Lunch:
Slim-Fast
Snack:
Pudding and Yogurt
Dinner:
Slim-Fast

Two more days till surgery... I hope that I can successfully change my life and times with the tool of a band around my belly.

Peace out.

Woot! March 1st!

Well it's March 1st...

What does that mean four more days till surgery... technically three as today is almost over!

I can't believe time is flying by!

Food for today:

Breakfast:
Slim-Fast
Lunch:
Slim-Fast
Dinner:
Slim-Fast
Yogurt
Pudding

Like 800 calories! Yay!

I'm getting uber excited!